Owensboro couple married 75 years shares secret to long, happy marriage
Photo by Jamie Plain
Lester and Helen Schaick recently commemorated their 75th wedding anniversary with a celebration for family at Cedarhurst Senior Living, where they both now live. When Owensboro Living heard about their story, we wanted to celebrate them in this magazine and ask what advice they could share to make a marriage last.
Now better known as “Nanna” and “Papaw” to their six grandkids and seven great-grandchildren, Helen (95) and Lester (96) were all smiles as they looked back at their happy lives together.
“We feel very fortunate,” Helen said. “We’ve been blessed with good health, a wonderful family, our children, and great friends. It’s hard work, but you just go on day to day and do what you have to do. I guess the Good Lord just meant it to be this way.”
Talking with them is like listening to a living time capsule. There are many differences about weddings today compared to 1949, when Les and Helen were married on October 1 in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.
They did not have a gigantic wedding party; only a select few of their best friends and cousins were included. There was no expensive honeymoon to an exotic locale; a trip to nearby Madison sufficed. There was no wedding planner or exorbitant budget; keeping things simple was plenty.
In fact, the two were married at 11 a.m. on a Saturday in their parish priest’s home, signifying that faith has always been the bedrock of their marriage. She was 20 and he was 21.
Today, as longtime members of Immaculate Parish, their 75th-anniversary milestone makes the Schaick’s the longest-living married couple in the Catholic Diocese of Owensboro (which covers all of Western Kentucky).
Helen still maintains an apartment at Cedarhurst, while Lester resides in the memory care unit, but the two still manage to spend time together every day. Helen walks down to eat dinner with Les each night. The staff told me they’ll often see the two lovebirds playing cards together, working puzzles, or sitting by the fireplace.
“He still calls her sweetheart. It’s very sweet,” an attendant in the memory care unit said.
Accompanied by their daughter, Lynn O’Bryan, Les and Helen spent an afternoon reminiscing on their life together, the happiness they still enjoy, and the secrets to a long-lasting marriage.
Rely on your faith
Faith means a lot to the Schaicks. Helen is Catholic while Les is Presbyterian, but together they found a way to blend their faith. Once they got engaged, Les and Helen took instruction together and Lester was always supportive of raising the kids Catholic. Les faithfully saw to it that Helen and the kids got to Mass, and he would attend with them on holidays.
Surround yourself with friends
Helen and Les have known each other since high school. In the beginning, they started hanging out as a group of friends, but as the friend group got older, some of them started pairing up. Eventually Les and Helen started dating, too.
After starting their lives together as husband and wife, the Schaicks moved from Wisconsin to North Carolina, then to Owensboro because of Les’ woodworking business. But wherever they were, they say having close couple friends has always been a support throughout their marriage.
It’s a partnership
Lynn says one of the keys to her parent’s marriage is that it has always been a noticeable partnership with shared responsibility. Helen helped Les with the business from their home office. Les helped Helen with raising their four kids. Helen enjoyed being at home cooking and cleaning.
“Their relationship together is so good. You don’t see that as much these days. People today get mad and walk out, but they never did that,” Lynn told me. “I don’t ever remember them fighting much or either one of them getting so mad they walked out. They were good together. She always put him and us kids first and put herself last.”
Keep dating
Helen proudly recounted their longstanding weekly date nights, which they maintained for more than 30 years. After Saturday evening Mass, they had a standing reservation at Colby’s downtown. That was their time to talk. Helen says the managers knew they were coming.
“We’d walk in and our booth was reserved,” she said. “Usually, it was the same booth and our drinks would already be on the table.”
Forgiveness and patience
Another foundation for their marriage is extending forgiveness and showing patience with each other.
“When you have a family and are raising four kids, if you just hang in there it will all work out,” Helen said.
She also commented that Les wasn’t a big talker at home because he talked with people all day long as a salesman. For her, it was more about being able to understand his way of thinking and hearing him more with her heart.
Don’t give up
The underlying thing that Helen mentioned several times was not giving up.
“I think kids today give up too fast,” she said. “You gotta hang in there. We didn’t have all that highfalutin stuff like they do now. We didn’t have television or any of that stuff. I never had a washer and dryer when we were younger. We had to hang our clothes on a line and the wet clothes would freeze in Wisconsin. We cooked. Kids nowadays don’t make meals like we used to. We put meals on the table and we ate as a family.”
A positive attitude
No marriage is perfect, and life is not always easy. Helen and Les recalled the heartache of losing two grandkids who were 21 years old and the painful decision to sell the house and move into Cedarhurst because they needed round-the-clock care and didn’t want to burden their adult children.
But their positivity carried through.
“Life is what you make it,” Helen said. “I see people complaining all the time, but it doesn’t do you any good. Things could always be a lot worse.”
I noticed when Lester sat down next to Helen for this interview, he immediately put his arm around Helen’s shoulder and smiled. After the nearly hour-long conversation, when I asked how he would summarize everything, Les gave a glance toward Helen and gave me what might be the best ending to an interview I’ve ever heard.
He said with pride: “She’s a dandy!”OL
